my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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