I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
