That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
