She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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