yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
