Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
