I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
