How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
