I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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