giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
