Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
