Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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