I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
