They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
bring money and cleavage
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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