LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
