My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
