ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
