he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
