I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
