I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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