I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
