we have officially lost it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
