I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
