just come out here and I will go home with you...
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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