i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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