guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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