Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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