Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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