yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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