Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
