yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
