I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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