she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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