Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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