You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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