Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
