it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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