I wish I could teleport
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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