I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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