So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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