is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
