Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
