who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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