I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
