So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
