I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
