let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
