I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
