I cockslap morals
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
