they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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