that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
