got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize