we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
