woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
