I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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