If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
