am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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