David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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