Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
