Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
