i'm signing you up for texting rehab
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
