I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I would fuck him just for his dog
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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