you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
